The Worst First Date Ideas (According to Our Survey)

10/06/2025

Author:

Olha Rybak

Olha Rybak (she/her) is Fiorry’s Chief Editor, where she executes and operates in a writer, editor, and content creator capacity. At university, she studied the English language and literature but found that she loved psychology almost as much. Olha is an industrious content creator and committed team leader. Her academic background gives her a unique view of the complex aspects of how people act and communicate. As a hobby, Olha also translates literature, which she passionately reads and seeks out stories by which she’ll be completely absorbed.

Let’s be real: first dates are hard. Butterflies, small talk, and the lingering fear that your date might secretly be a cryptid. But while chemistry is unpredictable, one thing’s for sure—some places not to go are practically designed to turn sparks into dumpster fires. After crowdsourcing horror stories from over 100 trans men, women, and nonbinary folks, we’ve built the ultimate list of worst first date ideas guaranteed to make you rethink your life choices.

Picture this: You’re trapped at Buffalo Wild Wings while your date screams at a football game you don’t care about, or suffocating at a family function where their aunt asks invasive questions about your transition. Maybe they dragged you to a chaotic double date with their judgy best friend or suggested a movie night where the only dialogue is “Pass the popcorn.” And let’s not forget the Olive Garden of it all—endless breadsticks can’t save a date who thinks “fettuccine alfredo” is a personality trait. Even Cheesecake Factory, with its novel-sized menu, becomes a nightmare when your date spends 30 minutes debating between brownie sundae #1 or #2.

This isn’t just a bad idea roundup—it’s a survival guide. These spots aren’t just awkward; they’re landmines for trans folks navigating safety, respect, and actual connection. So grab a drink, cringe-laugh at these disasters, and swear to never utter the words, “Let’s go to Applebee’s.” You deserve better. (And yes, we said what we said about the breadsticks.)

The Movie Theater

There’s a reason movie theatres top every terrible first date list. Sure, sharing popcorn sounds cute in theory, but in practice? It’s one of the worst places to gauge chemistry—unless your idea of romance is two hours of forced silence followed by an awkward debrief in a parking lot. For trans dating, where open communication and safety are non-negotiable, sitting in the dark with a near-stranger is about as fun as a family functions movie night where your cousin’s new partner won’t stop asking about your surgery.

One anonymous trans man put it bluntly: “She picked a horror movie, which I hate. I spent two hours staring at the ceiling, and afterward, she just said, ‘You’re quiet, huh?’ Never called back.” – Jamie, 28

And let’s be real: dating in American culture treats movies like a default “safe” choice, but for marginalized folks, it’s a minefield. Want to Google “trans near me” mid-film to distract yourself? Too dark. Need to correct someone who misgenders you? Good luck whispering over Oppenheimer’s explosions. Even Buffalo Wild Wings responded to our survey with, “At least our nachos come with conversation!”

Bonus tip: Save movies for date #3+, when you can actually discuss the plot (and your boundaries). Correction close modal suggest: If your date insists on a theater, counter with, “How about coffee first? I promise I’m louder than the Dolby surround sound.”

An American rapper

Foxy Brown

To find a prince, you gotta kiss some toads

The Gym

If your idea of a romantic place involves grunting through deadlifts or praying your eyelash glue survives a treadmill sprint, let us stop you right there. The gym tops the where not to go list for a reason: nobody looks cute mid-burpee, and “bonding over sweat” is less fun at night and more cringe-worthy nightmare fuel. As one trans woman shared: “She said we’d ‘bond over spin class’. I was wheezing, my makeup melted off, and she kept correcting my form. It felt like a bootcamp, not a date.” – Taylor, 31

Let’s break it down. How to find trans women on Tinder 101: Don’t assume we’re dying to critique your squat form. The gym’s selected audio track default (grunting, clanging weights, and that one guy blasting Nickelback) isn’t exactly a vibe. Plus, for trans folks already navigating body insecurity, a first date screams, “I have zero common sense—and my love language is shared humiliation.”

Pro tip: Save the gym for solo gains. If your date insists, close the dialog with a firm, “I’d rather swipe left on your protein shake.” And remember: a damn cheap date isn’t worth sacrificing your dignity.

Invitation home

If someone suggests you go on a date at that guy’s house before you’ve even finished your first coffee? Run. This isn’t just a bad vibe—it’s a glowing red flag emoji for safety, pressure, and “Netflix and chill” expectations. As one trans woman shared, “He invited me over ‘to cook dinner’, but their roommate was there the whole time. Awkwardness level: 100. I left after 20 minutes.” – Morgan, 25

Trans dating in the US already comes with enough hurdles without dodging invasive questions from a stranger’s roommate or wondering if your car has a quick escape route. Why risk a weird night in their house when you could meet at a chain restaurant like IHOP or Red Lobster? At least there, you can split the pay, people-watch, and scream internally into a stack of pancakes instead of on their couch cushions.

Safety isn’t negotiable. If your date insists on a private location, counter with, “How about we begin with a bar or dinner in town first?” And if they whine? Hit ’em with: ‘Thanks, but I’m not auditioning for your personal episode of MTV’s Catfish.

A Nightclub

If your idea of a first date involves shouting over a remix of “I Will Survive” while dodging strangers’ spilt vodka sodas, congrats—you’ve made the horrible list of places to avoid. Clubbing might seem like a “fun” choice, but for trans dating UK, the US, and beyond, it’s a sensory nightmare: loud music = zero conversation, strobe lights = migraine fuel, and randoms hitting on you = why is this guy breathing near my ear?

One nonbinary person shared, “I couldn’t hear a word they said, and some guy kept hitting on us both. We gave up and went home separately.” – Riley, 29

Let’s be real: crowded spaces like nightclubs (or their equally chaotic cousins, long-drive bowling alleys) amplify risks for trans folks. Between misgendering, invasive stares, and creeps who think “Can I buy you a drink?” is a personality, it’s less “dance floor magic” and more “survival mode”. Even a fast food chain drive-thru offers more privacy—and at least there, you can drown your sorrows in fries.

Pro tip: If your date insists on “vibing” at a club, counter with: “How about a quiet pub? I promise my jokes are louder than the DJ.” Save the glitter for when you know they’re worth the hangover.

PR Manager

Olena Kosonogova

A good first date isn’t just about chemistry—it’s about feeling safe enough to be yourself

Family Gatherings

Imagine being grilled about your life choices by a stranger’s aunt while clutching a paper plate of potato salad. Welcome to the “Why is this happening?” hell of family events as first dates. Meeting parents on day one isn’t just awkward—it’s a masterclass in pressure, performative small talk, and potential misgendering. As one trans woman from Orlando’s trans dating circles shared, “They brought me to their mom’s BBQ. She deadnamed me twice and asked when I’d ‘finish transitioning’. I cried in the bathroom.” – Alex, 27

Let’s be clear: Family events are where you go after you’ve decided someone’s worth surviving their uncle’s conspiracy theories. For trans folks, these gatherings often turn into unsolicited Q&A sessions about your body or identity. Not to take a woman (or anyone!) on a first date here unless you’re prepared to defend their humanity over deviled eggs.

Your identity isn’t a talking point for strangers. If your date suggests a family BBQ, counter with, “How about we start with a quiet park?” And hey, Orlando locals—skip the backyard chaos and hit up one of the city’s queer-friendly cafes. You can find them with the help of the Fiorry app. Your sanity will thank you.

Coffee Shops at Peak Hour

Picture this: You’re jostling for a table between a screaming toddler and a guy mansplaining Nietzsche while the barista bellows “Carly?” (your name is Casey). Welcome to the crowded cafe zone—a first date hellscape where overstimulation and spilt oat milk reign supreme. As one nonbinary person griped, “We couldn’t find seats, the barista yelled our names wrong, and my date kept checking their phone. Worst ‘connection’ ever.” – Casey, 26

For trans folks, already navigating stares or misgendering, a packed café amplifies the anxiety. Why subject yourself to a date who treats conversation like a Las Vegas trans slot machine—random, loud, and emotionally bankrupt? Pro tip: Skip the rush-hour chaos and opt for quiet, queer-friendly spots where you can actually hear each other. Vegas locals, ditch the Strip’s sensory overload and try the cozy vibes at Grouchy John’s (they’ll get your name right and your pronouns).

If your date suggests a crowded chain, hit ’em with, “I’d rather bond over coffee, not your phone’s glare. Let’s find a place where the only ‘rush’ is our chemistry.”

Hiking Trails

Imagine a first date that feels less like romance and more like a Survivor audition—no cameras, no prize money, just you, a near-stranger, and a trail that’s slowly morphing into a horror movie set. Hiking might seem adventurous, but for a first date, it’s a cocktail of isolation, sweat stains, and “Why is there no cell service here?” panic. As one trans nonbinary person from trans Miami circles shared, “We got lost, it started raining, and I had to pretend I wasn’t terrified. Never again.” – Sam, 30

Let’s unpack this. Hiking trails offer zero escape routes, max physical exhaustion, and the subtle dread of wondering if your date’s idea of “fun” includes pushing you off a cliff (kidding… mostly). For trans folks the risks multiply. Between potential misgendering in remote areas or the sheer vulnerability of being alone with someone you just met, it’s less “nature bonding” and more “how fast can I SOS my bestie?”

Always share your live location with a friend! And Miami locals—skip the Everglades gamble and opt for South Pointe Park, where the ocean views and crowds keep things breezy, safe, and drama-free.

If your date insists on “adventure”, hit ’em with: “Let’s ‘hike’ to a café instead. I promise my stories are wilder than the raccoons out here.”

Sporting Events

Picture this: You’re wedged between a nacho-cheese-scented superfan and a screaming toddler, while your date’s entire personality morphs into “YELLING ABOUT PENALTIES”. Sports events as first dates? Unless you’re both die-hard fans, it’s a recipe for disaster. Rowdy crowds, niche jargon (“Why is everyone mad about offsides?!”), and zero chance for actual conversation make this a hard no for connection-seekers. As one exasperated trans man put it, “They screamed at the refs the whole time and ignored me. I don’t even like hockey!” – Parker, 32

For trans folks, the combo of loud environments and performative machismo can feel alienating or even unsafe. Plus, pretending to care about a team’s playoff odds while side-eyeing the nearest exit isn’t exactly romance.

Save sports for date #5, when you’ve confirmed they’re more into you than their fantasy league. Until then, counter with: “Let’s grab a drink instead. I’ll explain the offside rule… if you explain why this isn’t a terrible idea.”

Conclusion

Let’s be real: first dates are awkward enough without adding screaming strangers, remote hiking trails, or someone’s mom into the mix. As our anonymous survey showed, trans folks deserve dates that prioritize safety, respect, and genuine connection—not chaotic locations that leave you Googling “how to fake a phone emergency”.

So skip the sports events, crowded cafés, and family BBQs, and opt for spaces where you can breathe, chat, and suss out if they’re worth a second date (spoiler: if they suggest Buffalo Wild Wings, they’re not).